Saturday, November 3, 2007

FOX : How I'd rather be eaten by one than Watch it on Cable

Think of going to a restaurant and wanting to know the day's specials, which are no where in writing at your lunch haunt. Instead of taking your order, the waiter begins talking for 10 minutes about the different things that are on the written menu (which you can read yourself), and he comments about hat he likes and doesn't like, etc. Meanwhile, your stomach is growling and you want the guy to shut up and tell you what the specials are, so you can decide and take your frigging order and get it to the chef. Will you just tell me what the specials are or I'm not going to tip you!!&$&$*$#(@(@)@* arrgggh!

That's how I feel about Fox. I just want the news, but it never reaches my ears
because it's prefaced with parenthetical comments on the peccadilloes of the newscaster -- SHUTUP and give me the news. I might be exaggerating, but it's true. I think the station is probably best at highlighting breaking news, in general, but its regular news is a lesson in tedium and patience.

But it's a popular Cable Channel. I guess it works for those who like to be told how to think about any given issue. If you like the newscasters (I believe the females are all blonde, with high cheekbones and flowing hair, the mask required of all of the newscasters). As for getting the news out of any of them, they could be sipping beer, or lounging in their living rooms, literally chatting to each other about what they liked or didn't like about the news -- if they ever got around to talking about it. After all, this is not real news - it's opinion news that challenges the television reporter to assert his or views in contrast to the report the or she is going to eventually, at some time in the future... we're waiting.... deliver.

It's easy to be a liberal and dislike Fox. But there was a time when I thought it was cutting edge -- now it's a razor with which to commit suicide while listening to them pander to mainstream NASCAR-America. I believe that it has done more to lower the standards of objective news gathering; and I guess the other stations do it, but I'd like to think that the CNNs and MSNBCs of the world do it more subliminally.

In a gesture of objectivity, however, I'm actually going to watch Fox Cable News all this week to gather my news (nothing else) and see if I can survive.

The week is looking pretty long, already. And I'm depressed at the thought of it. Like a hostage after lengthy captivity begins to identify with his captors, the same might happen to me, too. I may start liking George Bush and hating all things Muslim by the time the week is through.

Can I stay tuned? We'll see.

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